just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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