We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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