very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
