her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
