she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I know her cup size but not her name....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
