don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
