C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
