So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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