Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
