i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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