Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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