Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
