I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
