I smell stomach acid.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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