I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
