D3 body, D1 cock
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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