One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
