a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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