Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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