Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
