So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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