he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
