Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
