Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
did i just pee glitter
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
