u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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