Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
