Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You are the jesus of drinking
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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