I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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