She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
