Moan for me like Helen Keller
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have fence marks all over my body
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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