So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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