I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
worst night to have a conscience
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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