so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
