What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
