glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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