That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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