Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
