so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im part way to drunk.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
