Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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