can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
