U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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