So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
