R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
