The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
