Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
