Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
