He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
