Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
