awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
