Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm passing your future prison.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
