My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
