so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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