Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
