Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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